The Ballad of Sméagol

Once upon a time there was a cavern Where he used to catch a fish or two Remembering how he'd slip into his Precious Thinking of the orclings he would chew...

Chorus: Oh, the Third Age, my friends, We knew it had to end Wizards and Elves and Dwarves had had their say. To finish Sauron's reign, Send evil on the wane, The age of Men, from then down to today!

Bilbo Baggins wandered to his chamber A glowing Sting held Sméagol at bay In his pocket Bilbo had the Precious And that pulled Gollum toward the light of day

Chorus...

Out into a world of light he hated He blinked in pain but Precious' call was strong. Thranduil put him briefly in a dungeon, But lost control while fighting the Orc throng.

Chorus...

Gollum found the Ring and, what? A Baggins?! Sting and Precious forced him through the rest Finally! He got his chance to seize It, Though fire took him, he probably felt blessed.

Chorus...

Today in the history of Middle Earth: Gollum/Sméagol escapes the captivity of the wood-elves.  And OBTW: if you're wondering what tune to use for this, wonder no more:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3un5f6qLi_k

I would so not want anyone to forget what a Tolkien nerd I am.