Enough with the Surveys!

Photo by Joey Sforza / Unsplash
Coping Strategies for YET ANOTHER SURVEY! Photo by Joey Sforza / Unsplash

OK, all you drug stores, fast food outlets, online shopping sites, professional organizations, etc.  Just stop already with the surveys!

Here's what you think you're going to get: Unbiased and fresh reactions from customers who genuinely want to help you make your business work better because they will benefit, as customers.


Here's what you really get:

  • She looked/sounded sexy, and flirted with me.  All 10s!
  • He was kind of a dick and said "can't" four times.  All 1s!
  • They were not quite competent but implied -- without saying so -- that their job depended on a good score.  Mostly 7s.
  • I get a coupon for finishing the survey!  Basically, 5s and 6s, with one 2 and one 9 so it looks real.
  • Your survey is too long.  7s to 9s at the beginning, 2s and 3s by the end.
  • Your survey has too many text boxes and they are all required.  "Nothing much."  "Not really."  "It was OK"  "N/A"  "N/A"   "It's OK"  "N/A"  "N/A"  "OK"  "N/A"  "N/A"  "N/A"  "N/A"  Hey hey, goodbye!

We keep hoping you'll get it, but you don't.  Apparently filling out the survey AT ALL simply means we're suckers for more surveys.

So that's it.  Today I call HALT. I am on Survey Strike as of now.  Don't call me, don't email me, don't put them in my online shopping cart.  NOTHING.

This article was updated on May 9, 2023

David F