"Which Gender?"

Good luck answering that question, even for yourself.  You hear a lot of atavistic comments from people who think LGBTQ+ people somehow deserve the persecution society continues to heap upon them.  And the reason they deserve it, is that they dare to place themselves where they fit, which is not in the various boxes they were assigned to at birth: sex, orientation and gender.

Gender Identity and Expression are of course separate. How you feel and how you show yourself to the world are always at least a little different.

I do think that the social pressure to stick close to one end or the other of the gender spectra creates what I call click stops.  If you imagine a slider being used to choose your position, also imagine that there's a relatively smooth motion through the travel... until you get to either end.  Then there's a kind of soft landing that can create a comfort zone.  Even if you don't truly fit there, it might just be easier to settle in and stay against the resistance of leaving.

And there is more than resistance to overcome for leaving.  The atavistic forces are ready to enact severe penalties, up to and including death, for moving away from your assigned click stop.

Pumpkin's attempt to ban anyone who doesn't sit quietly in one of the two ends is a tiny symptom of the overall hate and fear that most people have been told they should feel about anyone not fitting the pre-defined binary values.  We can only get this moving in the right direction by education and by modeling better attitudes.  I was glad to see this article today, just laying it out there calmly and rationally.

Let’s drop the gender stereotypes – we are all non-binary